Balance

Balance is the key to any breakthrough, or next step in your journey.  If you are off balance, you will keep hitting the same issue at hand over and over until you resolve it.  So many people, myself included have had moments in their lives that they get "stuck".  I like to call it stuck in a rut.  I also see many people on a daily basis, that stay stuck in their negative patterns.  On the bright side I see many people on a daily basis that consistently grow into the person they are meant to become.  Although they have their bad days, and good days, they seem to have an air of true peace around them, which infiltrates other people around them.

I look back at some pictures of my life just a few years ago, what could go wrong, did, or so I thought at the time.  What I didn't realize then, and what I know now, is every situation that occurred made me stronger, and taught myself to be me again.  The balance followed.  Since that time, I have not looked back.  Every so often I think back to the good and bad times, in my previous marriage, in how I reacted to things in my life, and you can still feel the moment.  It passes and it reminds me of this new era that I am in now, one in which I am happier now in so many ways than I ever was before.

A lot of it was a change in my thinking, in my reacting.  Although I never thought of myself as a victim (although I had much right to think I was!), I realized more than anything I was a survivor.  I have been through loss of a child, emotional abuse, even physical abuse.  I have met with failure, and out of failure persevered to accomplish great things.  My goals now...well let's just say I compete with myself, to become better than I was, and am.  I am still a planner, but I can remember a time when I planned everything down to the minute.  The other day I was driving with my mother in the car, and she reminded me how I was, and how far I have come from the struggles that I have been through.  I don't plan like I did, oh yes I am still responsible, I still plan things, don't get me wrong.  I learned to relax and realize that in this life, I do not have any control.  You can control your thoughts, your actions, but what the universe gives you, what God has planned for you...you can't control that.  I learned to take things a day at a time. (Name of my blog if you notice!) and I take each challenge as it comes to me.  I face it head on.  I think if I was still in the life I lived before, the marriage I was in before, I would be like this bird in a cage that couldn't fly.  What I mean by that is sometimes people can hold you back, you love them so much that you don't realize that they are suffocating you...from you.  In a way it is a type of control.  I see it in work situations, in life situations, in relationship situations.  At some point a true meaningful relationship is two people coming together as two individuals that honor and respect and love one another, and agree to disagree at times.  You are equals to one another and you know that you have each other's back.  You will be there through the good and bad times.  I think a true loving relationship with a significant other should be this way, as should a true friendship.

I can count on one hand the true friends I really have.  I have lots of friends, and acquaintances but a true friend, hell they are hard to come by.  I also hope that the next love relationship I am in, will be one that is meaningful and will take things a day a time.

Well I hadn't planned on writing tonight but the thoughts just rolled in, and here we are.  Until next time....

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Breast Cancer has touched my life so many times.  I have had so many friends that have had this terrible disease.  2 years ago, my mother had breast cancer, she is now a little over 2 years of being a survivor.  Please make sure to get your yearly mammograms, it does not have to be hereditary or run in your family for you to get it.  There has been an increase in the disease due to our environment, the way we eat, so many factors.

I met someone one time at a function who had breast cancer, not once, not twice but three times.  She is a survivor, heck that word doesn't even describe her.  She has faced it head on three times and survived.  Now for a living she works helping others who have or had breast cancer with programs that are available out there for you.  One thing she said that really stuck with me was that she said she would not let cancer beat her.  She my friends, beat cancer.  There are no guarantees that you won't get cancer, there are no gurantees you won't get a form of cancer again.  There is a guarantee that you can fight with all your hope, faith and strength, with the support of your loved ones, your faith in our father above, and your inner strength that knows no bounds.

This month make a point to speak to a loved one that has it, give them encouragement, remind them how their struggle has made all the difference in your life.

I guarantee you they will change your life.

School days and other "thangs"

I have really (let me repeat) REALLY enjoyed having a break from school since I graduated with my associates in science in May.  Alas, now my first week at Strayer University to finish my Bachelors Degree (Business Administration with a concentration in project management) starts Monday.  According to plan if all goes well I should have my BS degree in about 2 to 3 years, and my masters between 4 and 5 years.  What a long term goal I have to look forward to?

Let me remind those of you reading this that having a degree is wonderful and it is hard to work for and takes a lot of patience and perseverance.  Keep in mind this though, a degree does not mean you are smarter or oh so wise.  I see many that have degrees and have no common sense or street smarts.  

I still believe the school of hard knocks teaches the life situations best. Just my two cents!

I work hard and that is what has gotten me farther in life.  The degree will only help to take me further :)

Ok so now the other "thangs". This week was an eye opener into the way some people can be. It amazes me how disrespectful those in authority can be or just plain disrespectful anyways.  If you got "thangs" going on in your life, take a breath and think how your actions and negativity affect others around you.  I think at the same time when you have someone acting this way and taking things out on others etc, you have to remember you deserve respect and you don't have to take it!

Word of advice, don't react to it, walk away, distance yourself from the person or persons.  If you are asked for your thoughts, give them. Otherwise be the better person and don't sink to their level.  

I think the world needs a changing because some people out there are just plain crazy!  Abuse comes in many forms, and one of those that many people overlook is emotional or intimidation.  Anytime you feel that then not only are you letting others suffocate you emotionally, but you are allowing that person to control you in a negative way.  DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.  

October is breast cancer awareness and domestic violence awareness month.  Remember those in Pink and remember that violence also comes in many forms and if you don't feel comfortable than its abuse in its own way.

Chow it is time for this gal to go to sleep, I would hate to think you keep seeing me mumble on and on and on.... ;)  

Journey of a thousand miles.....

Today someone brought up a quote I had not heard in a very long time.  "The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao-tzu (604 BC - 531 BC). 

It is hard to believe that a saying that profound was from thousands of years ago!  It amazes me that the simplest sayings, can reach into your very soul.  The Journey of life is something that many take for granted.  Most of us are so busy either looking in the rear view mirror, reflecting on the past, or we are looking so far ahead that we don't see what is right in front of us.  The includes the things in our way if we don't take the time to just look down for a second, be grounded and remember where we came from. 

Think of some of the struggles and successes in your life, past and present.  Every struggle you went through you had to take it one step at a time.  One day at a time..hell even a second at a time.  It is so easy to get stuck in the moment, we forget to breathe.  We wonder how can we do this, how can we do that, how will this work, what if it doesn't?  Endless time is spent on these things.  Every success has also had to take you a step at a time.  There is no such thing as a quick fix.  To make things work in your life, whether it is in your career, your schooling, your family, your kids...relationships.... you had to take it one step at a time.  If we bypassed all of that, if we jump forward too fast, not only do we miss some important things along the way...we miss the beauty of the journey.  You see the key IS the journey.

The key is not to focus on the thousand miles ahead (Life), or even the step, that you miss what is around you...the key is the journey.  We all in this crazy tech age we live in have to take slow steps, sometimes baby ones, to make it, to appreciate it...to reflect on it.  To even move past the wrongs and the hurts that you have went through in life.  I remember as a kid, running on a windy day, looking up at the blue sky and white clouds and I would run in circles until I would fall, and feel dizzy but I trusted the ground was there...it was a small journey (crazy one when you think of it) for a kid just being a kid outside in the fresh air.  When I think of that peaceful moment, that letting go, trusting the ground was there for you to fall on...reminds me of the journey ahead.  Each step you take is a meaningful one.  The speed in which you take it, sets the stage for each succeeding step of life.  Along the path you always have time to take a few steps back, regroup, breathe and move forward again.  There are reasons for everything.  Each step is SUPPOSED to happen, but you have to take the time to learn from it.  Don't be overwhelmed of the thousand miles ahead (life), don't rush to the end forgetting the joys of the moment (steps).  

Remember the journey is what is most important, the steps are the key to it all...the thousand miles are going to happen regardless, its how you walk those miles that count!

- Jean

Older and wiser...and a lil in between...

The last few days have been a time of a lot of reflection for me.  My daughters birthday was on the fifteenth, and the anniversary of her death is on the eighteenth.  She would have been 13 years old.  It is a milestone birthday and one that has struck me a few times what could have been.  Although I know she is in a better place and happier and that in the end things did really work out for the best.  She would have suffered terribly had she lived with the health problems she would have had physically and mentally.

The outpouring of love and friendship from family and friends as always has amazed me.  You really know the friends and family who truly care, when they hug you and say I was thinking of you, praying for you...the text messages I received, phone calls, emails, facebook posts...it was beautiful and all I could think is how it made me proud to be Kayla's mom.  This was for her.  I want her to always be remembered.

What was disappointing was the ones who were silent, whether they chose not to say anything, or just didn't know, it really makes you stop and wonder...are people so involved in their own lives that they don't think a kind word could have made all the difference?  As I get older and start seeing through things clearer than I did before, you start to realize who to give your all too, and who to hold back.  I used to have this tendency in my life to people please, to give my all to everyone to the point of exhaustion.  I was always a giver.  Over time I realized this is not healthy or even cool.  At some point although it is great to be there for others, you can't at the cost of your own soul.  You have to learn to keep those who are there for you closer, and be there for them, and as for the ones who are just what I called acquaintances, well in the end that is what they are.  Just because you see someone daily, or spend a lot of time with them does not necessarily mean they are your friend.  Friend is a word that is tossed around quite abusively.  I believe friend is the person who is there for you through thick and then, who has seen you through your worst and just listens.  someone who will help you through good and bad times.  The person that you know without a doubt when something good or bad happens they are the first person you want to tell.  

I am lucky to say I have quite a few great friends, more than most.  I tend to build more meaningful relationships with those I consider true friends.  There is an old saying if you have one good friend you have more than most.

To my true friends out there (you know who you are), I thank you for always being there for me and also when I least expect it.  I love you for that.  I will always have your back too!

Inspiring moment!

Here it is February, and I realized I had not blogged since before Christmas because I have been so busy!  A dear friend of mine named Amy (who reads this) reminded me about my blog and it just inspired me more to share some of my strange but inspiring thought patterns today.  So where do I begin is the question...I literally could write a book..but alas I would need help on that! Let me add my thought patterns go all over the place trust me, even I have a hard time keeping up!

Well I started early January in my Anatomy and Physiology class which is very interesting but tough.  What inspires me in this class is our remarkable bodies and the physiology of it all.  Our bodies are made to heal themselves, quite literally!  Disease is just toxicity or in deficiency of something occurring in the body.  We actually have cells that their entire job is to just destroy toxins, and eat them and remove them from our bodies.  My first thought is hmmm, could this be the key to research with cancer eradication?   Each week we have a new chapter, the first two weeks was just on organelles and cells and ATP which is energy that our body produces.  Then we went into tissues and no I do not mean the puffs kind!  Tissues at first were BORING, but you have to admit you can't say that once you see the various tissues under a microscope they are like a universe in itself.  We went onto the skin and then onto the skeletal system this week.  Each week I learn new tidbits that just wow me.  One was my lab teacher mentioned that polar bears do not drink water, because they have enough adipose tissue (fat) that basically their body gets what it needs from itself.  Evolution at work!  

I know I probably sound like a nerd by now, but as I get older these things fascinate me and I wonder why when I was younger did I not enjoy the moment and the learning in the same way like I do now. There was a time that I did, but I became a teenager and it went out the window!  The saying if only we knew then what we know now holds so true.  We grow, we evolve physically, spiritually, emotionally and it is amazing what lessons are out there to be learned.  How much free education we have in our own country available at our fingertips!  You only have to go do the local library, pull any book off the shelf and learn new things each day.  I started to think about those less fortunate in other countries who would give anything to have what we have in our own country.  How blessed we truly are!  

As I have stated in earlier blogs I have lost so much in my life, but I also have gained so much.  Life is meant to be precious to gobble it up and just breathe in what is before us. I can remember a time or two when things got so dark for me during divorce, loss of a child..other things.  During those difficult times I forgot the beauty of it all because you focus on your own internal pain.  Healing takes time but when you do get to that place that you see so much around you ready to be plucked!  Then and only then can you truly learn what it is like to be happy.  Its about the moment now for me.  The tidbit I learn in class, the smile on a child's face when they discover something.  The personalities of my three fur kids.  (2 cats and 1 dog people!)  True happiness is inside it cannot be bought, sold or dependant on another.

Piece of advice though, sometimes enjoying the moment can make you become overwhelmed because you want to do it all.  You have to realize after much stress you can't.  Its impossible.  You are not super woman or man but a human being with a lot of faults and a lot to learn.  Baby steps, a day at a time (the name of this blog!) is what it takes.  

So my inspiring moments was realizing once again how lucky we have it, and to realize the potential of not only our physical bodies and the ability to heal, but our emotional selves and how far we can go.

Christmas miracles

3 days until Christmas!  I love this time of year, with all of its beauty of the season and the joy that it brings and just the refresher of knowing another time to renew and start over.  I had a few pleasant surprises from some people offering to do things that I wasn't financially able to do and just took care of it, and for that I am ever grateful. Its a great reminder when you know sometimes a tough time hits or a small nuisance yet somehow a little miracle comes about from either a kindness of a loved one, or friend or stranger.  I went to the eye doctor and have to go back in a few months as they found the beginning stages of diabetic retinopathy in one eye.  They believe it was due to the stress I had going back aways through divorce etc and that since I have come down on my meds and have been losing weight that in three months it may very well be gone, however it still is a wake up call and make you work even harder on something you already are working hard on.  Blessing in disguise if you may.  I started back at the gym, looking forward to water aerobics again and weights, and for the first time today I took a ZUMBA class and WOW.  It was fun, great, had some pains I wasn't used to, had to ice my back, but you really work up  a sweat, and I felt great (other than the back part LOL).  I plan to do that now regularly at least once a week while I cross train the other days.  This time of year I am really appreciating the little things more.  I realize a year ago so much had happened in a short time and through it well what doesn't kill you certainly does make you stronger!  Strength comes in many forms, a lot of people don't realize this...I know I didn't.  It is baby steps, sometimes a few steps forward and back, but one day you wake up and see where you are now, who you have become and where you were and who you were, and you see a difference in yourself.  I see it now more than ever.  The changes that came out of some tough situations have been for the better even though you never see it during the moment it is happening.

This magic moment....

I being a child of the 80s and teen of the early 90s still appreciate some of the old songs from the fifties, sixties and seventies.  The song playing in my head tonight over and over again tonight is the old song...this magic moment so different and so new...by the Drifters.  How ironic that this song plays in my head as I drive home from work this evening to see beautiful Christmas trees lit in the windows (yes even before Thanksgiving), and lights and shows in the yards of those who go all out.  There is one house down the street from where I live that reminds me of the Griswalds Christmas movie with Chevy Chase LOL.  Anyways I digress...  This really is a beautiful time of year to stop and look around and be thankful for what you truly have.  I have lost a lot in life (as so many have), divorce, a daughter who passed away 12 years ago, and more things...but it has only made me appreciate what I DO have all the more.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have watched my mom battle breast cancer last year and become a greater survivor than she already is.  I have been a greater survivor from what I have overcome in my own life. I am learning more and more every day who Jean is..and what I will accept and what I will not allow.  It is a good place for me.  One in which I don't fear the unknown anymore..I face it head on, daring it and embracing it.  I watch my three pets tonight, my dog, and my two cats, and boy animals love unconditionally, always wanting to please and demand attention that they crave just to know you love them.  They don't ask much, just to be fed, to snuggle, to be held or petted.  It is a simple peaceful approach that I wish in this busy life more people would embrace.  So many including myself have got caught in the busyness stopping to realize the beauty that surrounds them.  If we would take but a moment to embrace all that is before us, happiness is not only at your feet but within you.  This time of year, during the holidays it is a great time to remember what is important, who is important.  If I don't blog anymore before thanksgiving, I wish each of you a Happy Thanksgiving with your family and friends.

How many days until Turkey Day? and other creative things.

Here are some really neat cards I made today with friends.  Love stamping, its a real good creative outlet that I think we all need in this busy world!  I being the artist I am love to draw, paint, etc, but the one thing I seem to like to do regularly and do not necessarily have to be inspired (like when I draw or paint) is to make cards, as you can see in this blog.

I was busy organizing myself earlier today with some new thirty one products that I got for FREE for having a party and noticed that we are only a little over a week or so before THANKSGIVING!  SO..that being said, I need to start getting on the ball with a lot of things and soon.  CHOW!

Well it is hard to believe we are at the end of the year! I have never really blogged before, but I hear from so many how interesting and therapeutic it can be.  I see I blogged before when I used to sell Avon, and then stopped after one post, and of course I also stopped selling Avon!  I decided I needed to simplify things in my life. I have been through so much in my life, and have learned how simplifying things is so much less stress.  I don't want to say a lot here, I am rather a private person, and maybe in time I will open up a little more, but for now I am just trying out blogging and maybe keep it on discussion topics rather than anything else.  I was thinking the other day how we are so advanced with technology and its such a wonderful thing and I love playing around with computers, smart phones, I love to learn.  One thing I find though that is a downfall is so many people are starting to lose touch with not only themselves but with each other.  It is almost unheard of for some people to talk on the phone, everyone skypes or texts.  I think the skype idea is wonderful, but texting is good, but not at the cost of not being with someone, looking them in the eyes and connecting.  True connection in its finest form is eye contact.  Think about when you are in love with someone what is more beautiful than that lost in your eyes moment eh?  Well same with friendship, you can connect with someone on a much deeper level speaking to them, not at them via texting.  I am not saying I am against it in any way, I text quite often, but I also pick up the phone and call, and I also make time to have family time or friends time spending time with that person or group.  I don't want us to become a world that no one talks anymore, debates, jokes...and I am afraid some days that is where we are headed and its rather scary.  If anyone is reading this, take a few moments this week, call a friend, or a family member that you have not spoke to for awhile. I guarantee you won't be disappointed!