2024 - half a century old!

 I am turning 50 tomorrow, and on the eve of my birthday, I decided to look back on things I blogged over the years.  Very melancholy to see everything, read everything.  I have since you last ready obtained my Bachelors and Masters degree, and am a Senior Project Manager for a healthcare company.  The medical field as always intrigued me, my calling at one point in life was to be a doctor or a nurse, it is the caring about people, helping others that has been my desire all my life.  50 years, much heartache, much happiness, and many many lessons.  Most importantly, my faith has been my rock through endless storms, and what motivates me forward.  I could not do this without my catholic faith.  I am lucky to have a small circle of who I consider my close friends, and of course my family.  I lost this year both my stepfather and father....one being my dad (stepfather) and the other estranged.  Both affected me deeply.  You start to realize how quickly life passes by and there is so much life to live!  Confidence comes in as you get older, you know what you want in life, who you want to spend your life with and your time with.  A day at a time, the name of my blog, and I hope to start writing more, to hope that something I say may change someones life for the better.  

Perspective

 

Perspective is everything, it is how we see the world, the people around us, our relationships, and who we are.  Perspective is formulated by our conditioning at a very young age with minds not yet fully developed to reason the good and the bad things that happen.

We are in a fast paced world now, much different than the world many of us grew up in as kids.  Where once you had to go through multiple encyclopedia books for research, and type on manual or electronic typewriters, and then (aghast) word processors!  Now you can press a touchscreen app on your cell phone with one finger and google anything!  (Note – always consider the source).  Our world is ever changing, and with that so is our perspectives.  With the recent goings-on over the past year with COVID, political elections, and rioting, it is enough to bring anyone over the edge and quite frankly disheartened.  

 Over the last year, 2020 has taught us many things…both sad and good.  At some point we have to stop waiting on someone or something to change to gain security and happiness. This year has taught us how quickly those things can be taken from us. When we realize that perspective, we learn to accept that today we can control how we respond and what we do, and tomorrow is not promised. We learn to appreciate and have gratitude for those things before we may have taken for granted.

Our healthcare workers and providers are seeing death and sadness everyday because of the pandemic in a way not seen other than during war times.  Now more than ever, perspective is everything.  It is time for us as to be open to different points of view, and truly allow yourself to give in to self-care.  Remember that your families and your health is most important.  Keep the perspective of the “why” you got into the work field you did and the mission.

As your perspective changes or improves, you will start to see a better you, stronger resilience, and hope in knowing you can make a difference.

 Action item:  Take 15 minutes this week and write down all the things that are taking its toll on you and write down what you think you can or cannot control.  Once you finished this write down the things you are thankful for and ask yourself these questions; When was the last time you felt amazing? What are you going to do about it to continue to feel that way?  Perspective.

Practicing the Pause

 

Thoughts to ponder regarding our current times…pause

During this year, many people have experienced a lot of hardships with loss of family and friends, jobs, and financial issues as a result of COVID.  Emotions are high now as people undergo anxiety and depression, not understanding why or how to deal with the ever-changing landscape of our world. Stories on the news are making it difficult to stay positive when the focus is on everything from COVID19’s increasing numbers, and the devastation of storms such as the recent 400-mile-wide hurricane “Laura.” 

What do you do during a time when everywhere you turn something chips away at the soul?  I pondered this thought as I was sipping coffee, looking at the beautiful blue sky with vibrant white clouds on an early Saturday morning.  The answer is simple; stop and pause, breathe, and think of the positives that always show up amidst tough times.

While heading out to run errands, I have noticed more families in the neighborhood that are walking and biking together.  Life is not so busy anymore running to and from events, and families are focusing on the essentials.  Families are sitting down and playing board games together, cards, and watching movies (even re-runs) while spending quality time together.  Moreover, due to many church closures, there are more virtual church events occurring, drawing more people into their faith. 

What is different, I asked?  People are practicing the pause, they are reflecting on what is important, and balance is being found.  Some are still struggling, of course, but many are finding a life/balance that I had not seen since my childhood days when we didn’t have cell phones, Atari video games were just introduced, and the typical day for a child was playing outside and spending time with family and friends.

I encourage those of you reading this, if you are experiencing anxiety and depression due to the current state of our world, pause and focus on gratitude.  Take the time on a nice day to sit outside, with your beverage of choice and ponder the positives that have occurred since the beginning of 2020; you may be surprised at what you discover!

It's been a while!

Hello everyone, so much has happened since I last wrote, very good things!  I moved on in a company in management and led a team of Sr Business Analysts for a little over two years.  I recently started in the last few months a position as Project Manager!  Loving the new job!  I am only two classes away from obtaining my Master of Science Degree.

For some of my readers if you are interested in Young Living Essential Oils, I am a distributor so let me know what you want to order, you can email me.

I also sell Avon!  My 24 hour online shopping experience is at www.youravon.com/jglovacz 

I hope everyone is doing well and stay safe during this time of hardship for so many!

Be blessed!

Jean

Avon store open 24 hours! Shop anytime!

https://www.avon.com/jglovacz

Avon is no longer just makeup and skincare, it is fashion such as clothes and jewelry, shoes, intimates, and candles!  There is new items every two weeks and lots of sales!  Happy shopping!

My childrens book you can order for your kindle for young children

https://www.amazon.com/Squeakies-Big-Lesson-Jean-Glovacz-ebook/dp/B01L4TJM5E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479430116&sr=8-1&keywords=Squeakie%27s+Big+Lesson

Controlling outcomes

I am around some situations lately where I see a lot of stressers affecting people that I care for, people I have known for years and for a short time.  I too have experienced much stress in times past.  One thing I realized last few days is that you can’t control your outcomes sometimes.  Life takes you in new directions, some you may not even be ready for.  The joy is in the journey, but sometimes that journey may start off with some unhappiness at changes you are not ready yet to make.  I think if we stay with one path, and avoid making needed changes the path can become overgrown with weeds that choke the life right out of you. 

Sometimes to realize that there is a world of beautiful paths out there to take, you have to step off, make new changes and make a new way for your destination that lies ahead.  You can’t always concern yourself with how each outcome will affect others, because although it is wonderful to care for others and do the right thing, sometimes the right thing, is not necessarily the right thing for you.  You have to step out of your comfort zone, take a deep breath, and move forward, take the risk.  You may find that you will open up a world of happiness you did not even know existed.

I reminded someone I care for deeply today to breathe, to not do anything but just stay put and breathe.  I knew that this person has had more than enough things hit all at one time. This person has seen so many things and is always trying to fix and make things better.  This person does not see the qualities they possess, and it may be they are not told enough just how wonderful they are.  I took the time today after much thought, to tell them to sit down for just a few minutes and breathe, take in the world around them and yet I also reminded them it is not because they can’t handle things it is because they handle so much that they don’t see that they need to come up for air sometimes!

My advice for those out there now who are struggling, who sometimes don’t know how to put one foot forward…..stop for just a second, look around you, and smile….things sometimes change when we least expect it for all the right reasons!

We cannot control the outcomes sometimes, but we can control how we react to it.

Simple reminder of the most important thing

Many times we live our lives trying to please others and to do what makes others happy.  It is not selfish to want to be happy.  To live a fulfilling life you have to remember what it like to walk barefoot in the grass as a kid.

Someone recently told me to go back to that girl who played in the rain, and you know what it took a long time, but you have to have to learn to realize that the most important thing IS to be happy.  One of my favorite lines is "To thine own self be true", sometimes you have to make hard decisions and walk away from the very toxic things in your life that hold you back.  Situations in life may have fulfilled there purpose and as someone reminded me today when beavers tear down their houses....they build them again.

Sometimes you have to walk away and rebuild, it is really that simple.  Rebuild your life, be the who you are meant to be...surround yourself with friends that will support you and a love that will fulfill you completely.  You will know that when you meet the person who cares so much for you that they make you want to be better person.

I have learned over the years who to keep close and who to keep at a distance, and it is ok to be that person.  Learning to be happy is really rather simple....day a time, a breath at a time and rebuild.  One step in the right direction can lead you to a whole new world of new beginnings.

Take time for you...and BE the you that you are meant to be.  The rest is just details :)

My first published childrens book that I wrote years ago!

I am taking off into my writing again, and am currently compiling a list of all the songs and poems I wrote over the years into a book that I will publish.  In my "travels" I found a small childrens book that I hope publishing companies will see and help me create hard bound books with illustrations to teach children life lessons.  Here is the link to purchase!

https://www.amazon.com/Squeakies-Big-Lesson-Jean-Glovacz-ebook/dp/B01L4TJM5E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1473102461&sr=8-1&keywords=Squeakie%27s+Big+Lesson+book#nav-subnav

The book is Squeakie's Big Lesson

Global Warming - issues

I recently had to write a letter to the editor of a new article I read on global warming.  It is a very real problem!  I wanted to post this to hope maybe this ill change someones mind on the issue at hand:

I see a real issue with global warming and feel that everyone on the planet needs convincing that that we a huge problem here, one that could affect generations to come.  Our planet has warmed up 1.7 degrees Fahrenheit as the article stated since 1880.  This is causing land ice to melt and oceans to rise.  Scientists believe the greenhouse gasses is the cause of the global warming, and if this exceeds 8 degrees Fahrenheit it could transfer the planet. 

Readers, this about what I just wrote here, we are only less than 7 degrees from that point and if we get to that point, our own planet will be transformed.  Don’t you think this is cause for concern?  How much trouble are we really in?

Facts from scientists state that in the next three decades, the climate will seem the same, yet it will gradually get warmer.  Rainfall will be heavier, and hurricanes may slow down but those that occur will be much more intense.  Coastal cities will flood with rising oceans from melting ice caps.

Many people say that our scientists have been saying this for decades and we are still here, and I realize that is a good argument for most, but wouldn’t it be safer to plan on making changes in our greenhouse gases to allow for the planet to heal and ultimately reverse the effect?  Think about it for a minute, the storms we have now are more intense and our increasing.  Flooding is occurring, hurricanes are occurring more stronger than before, there is a chain affect creating more issues than we ever had, example Tsunami’s. 

We the people need to provide the support of national and state policies to make these improvements, and by exercising or rights as citizens we can do this legally.   If we do this and emissions are lessened, we will slow down the process, become less dependent on those very things causing the issues and find another way. 

I will end this with a single thought.  Do you want your future family members to blame our poor decisions on their downfall?  Better yet do you want your family members to suffer the consequences of these decisions?  

Ultimately we are in control of our own actions.

It's a great day to be alive....

I often think about how things change in a period of time.  Most people set out with certain goals, or relationships, and things change, you may end up in an entirely different set of circumstances.  If someone asked me ten years ago that this is where my life would take me, I wouldn't have imagined it.  Like so many people I went through some hardships, but they made me stronger.  Ten years later, I have learned that although you have to be careful who you trust, don't stop trusting.  I have experienced betrayal in my life, but I have not let it make me bitter to other people who enter into my life.

When you find that relationship, whether it is a platonic or romantic, where someone makes you happy, makes you laugh, and you feel you can share your world and THE world with them....don't hold back.  It is hard to find good trusting people in this world, but when you do, hold on to them.

I believe in not taking the easy way out, but sometimes, as you become better, smarter, more spiritual, more loving, you may find the friend or partner you are with is not that same person you once knew.  Then you realize you are not walking together, but separate.  The choice of which road to take becomes yours and yours alone.  It is a difficult choice, but sometimes the difficult choices are what leads us to a better life, filled with love, honor and happiness.

Life is too short for all of us to be involved in endless drama.  I was at lunch today with some friends and we were discussing some changes this one friend wanted to make in her life. She wanted to start over, away from things that have been holding her down and back for so long.  I reminded her that over the last few years, to look at how much she has grown and how she has changed for the better with her goals, her mindset, all while being a single mom.  My advice to her was if she found out this was the last year she would be alive on this Earth, would she make the same choices?  Her response, and I chuckle when I say this, was no I would be doing something different!  My response to her was then why aren't you taking those steps to do so?

Happiness is something you have to push towards, it doesn't always come freely, but if you take the time to sit down, look at your life, your goals, what you want specifically, choose the goals and people that will move you in the path you are meant to walk.

Choose wisely, but live, truly live and enjoy every breath you take.

It's a great day to be alive!

* Crazy weather and all that “stuff”

 Recently I have really enjoyed the beauty of weather patterns, they really are quite extraordinary!  In the state I live in, you can wake up one day and see snow, and the next day the temperature is  80 degrees!  Weather patterns, like life situations are never guaranteed.   When you think in those terms you realize that the beauty is in the discovery of what is next?  The surprise and joy of something new, whether it’s a new hobby or a new relationship be it love or friendship.  The surprise of just getting up and not knowing whether to wear a winter coat or a pair of shorts make things interesting!  

When you get to the point in your life whether it is with someone, or something that you feel you have grown, no matter how hard it may be to pick up those pieces you have to move on.  If someone is making you unhappy and you have tried everything to make things work…there is something better out there for you, and sometimes it can be right under your nose!  This may be a career, a friendship, a love relationship. 

Living life stagnantly is really not living with meaning.   A question I ask people sometimes when they are in doubt about something, or unsure of the next decision is if this was the last year of your life and you knew this, would you still make the same choices?

If the answer to that question is no, than you really need to sit down and see what makes you happy.  Being happy is not about material things, because you can be the poorest person in the world, and have the greatest love and family and friends you have ever known.  At the same time there are others out there that may have everything, but are the loneliest of souls. 

Ask yourself this question the next time you are meditating, praying, or just sitting in reflection.   If this was the last year of your life, how would  you choose to live this year?  I encourage you to make the changes needed to grow, to become a better version of yourself, to be happy because after all, don’t you deserve this?

Slow dance

Slow dance

I remember when I was a teenager, I loved to dance and sing to music, sounds of Madonna’s Like a Virgin album, or Debbie Gibson, and Tiffany.   Bon Jovi was my favorite group of all time, and still is.  Life seemed simpler, you didn’t think of who was watching or listening, you just got lost in the moment.  

I didn’t remember how that felt until recently when I realized that I started to feel that again, that in the moment, not worried about what would occur too much in the future, within reason of course, after all, I still am an adult!

It is that moment in time when you sit back, you dance, you sing, you breathe.  Something happens and you realize that you finally let go of the past that hurt you, and you stop worrying about what will happen and take things as they come.   You start to smile more, and enjoy the little things more, from the cute things your pets do, to the funny moments you have with family and friends.  You laugh more.  You come to realize your happier, in many ways happier than you have been in years, and you know your ready, ready for the real love to enter your life, whomever that will be.  You learned to let go, and let in love, friendships, family.  You empathize now not only on someone’s pain but on their happiness. The reason?  You understand both.  You are not so focused on what was done to you, or who hurt you, but of what life has given you both good and bad.  You feel in ways you never felt before, quieter yet deeper. 

It is your awakening.  You now understand what it means when they say:

 “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”

We have a short time on earth.  Make the best of it, let go of the bad moments, they will pass.  Embrace all that is good, and live…live…live.  

We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so why not take that jump ahead?

Hope in tomorrow's world.

Hello everyone, its been a while since I have written, my goal was to write more, but have been so busy.  I did want to share something I saw today in one of the news shows I watched.  In the interview two young men had noticed a man that came everyday to a park. They decided once they saw why he came to the park daily that they would do something for him.

The snow came down covering the ground in front of a bench that this older man visits everyday. The two young men shoveled the walkway each day up to the bench so that the older man could walk to it.  I thought that was beautiful and gave me hope on how some people can truly be good.

What I saw next brought me to tears, it was so beautiful. Everyday this older man came to a bench that had his late wife's picture on it, a sort of memorial, and he would bring a daisy every day.  Every day he would come out to that bench, speak to his late wife, say a little prayer, leave a flower and say how much he loved her.  They had been married around forty some years before she passed. You could hear in the interview further the love they shared, and how beautiful and special it was.

It gave me hope beyond something I can even explain.  There are good people out there in the world still wanting to do good for another human being without expecting anything in return.

There is real love out there that shows in the simple act of someone and their memories in a love that surpassed the test of time.

It got me thinking how in a crazy world where we have lots of negative things that show up around us, there is still beauty to be had.

There is still real love out there that two people give instead of taking all the time.

 Despite the negative things their are positive things that do surpass, we just don't hear it all the time. When I saw this interview of these people, I thought it was something that brought hope to my heart.

I think if we look really close, if we stop and smell the roses (or some say coffee), you can really see the beauty around, the kindness, the love.  It is everywhere.  A candle shines brightest in the darkness.

Love to each of you!

Balance

Balance is the key to any breakthrough, or next step in your journey.  If you are off balance, you will keep hitting the same issue at hand over and over until you resolve it.  So many people, myself included have had moments in their lives that they get "stuck".  I like to call it stuck in a rut.  I also see many people on a daily basis, that stay stuck in their negative patterns.  On the bright side I see many people on a daily basis that consistently grow into the person they are meant to become.  Although they have their bad days, and good days, they seem to have an air of true peace around them, which infiltrates other people around them.

I look back at some pictures of my life just a few years ago, what could go wrong, did, or so I thought at the time.  What I didn't realize then, and what I know now, is every situation that occurred made me stronger, and taught myself to be me again.  The balance followed.  Since that time, I have not looked back.  Every so often I think back to the good and bad times, in my previous marriage, in how I reacted to things in my life, and you can still feel the moment.  It passes and it reminds me of this new era that I am in now, one in which I am happier now in so many ways than I ever was before.

A lot of it was a change in my thinking, in my reacting.  Although I never thought of myself as a victim (although I had much right to think I was!), I realized more than anything I was a survivor.  I have been through loss of a child, emotional abuse, even physical abuse.  I have met with failure, and out of failure persevered to accomplish great things.  My goals now...well let's just say I compete with myself, to become better than I was, and am.  I am still a planner, but I can remember a time when I planned everything down to the minute.  The other day I was driving with my mother in the car, and she reminded me how I was, and how far I have come from the struggles that I have been through.  I don't plan like I did, oh yes I am still responsible, I still plan things, don't get me wrong.  I learned to relax and realize that in this life, I do not have any control.  You can control your thoughts, your actions, but what the universe gives you, what God has planned for you...you can't control that.  I learned to take things a day at a time. (Name of my blog if you notice!) and I take each challenge as it comes to me.  I face it head on.  I think if I was still in the life I lived before, the marriage I was in before, I would be like this bird in a cage that couldn't fly.  What I mean by that is sometimes people can hold you back, you love them so much that you don't realize that they are suffocating you...from you.  In a way it is a type of control.  I see it in work situations, in life situations, in relationship situations.  At some point a true meaningful relationship is two people coming together as two individuals that honor and respect and love one another, and agree to disagree at times.  You are equals to one another and you know that you have each other's back.  You will be there through the good and bad times.  I think a true loving relationship with a significant other should be this way, as should a true friendship.

I can count on one hand the true friends I really have.  I have lots of friends, and acquaintances but a true friend, hell they are hard to come by.  I also hope that the next love relationship I am in, will be one that is meaningful and will take things a day a time.

Well I hadn't planned on writing tonight but the thoughts just rolled in, and here we are.  Until next time....

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Breast Cancer has touched my life so many times.  I have had so many friends that have had this terrible disease.  2 years ago, my mother had breast cancer, she is now a little over 2 years of being a survivor.  Please make sure to get your yearly mammograms, it does not have to be hereditary or run in your family for you to get it.  There has been an increase in the disease due to our environment, the way we eat, so many factors.

I met someone one time at a function who had breast cancer, not once, not twice but three times.  She is a survivor, heck that word doesn't even describe her.  She has faced it head on three times and survived.  Now for a living she works helping others who have or had breast cancer with programs that are available out there for you.  One thing she said that really stuck with me was that she said she would not let cancer beat her.  She my friends, beat cancer.  There are no guarantees that you won't get cancer, there are no gurantees you won't get a form of cancer again.  There is a guarantee that you can fight with all your hope, faith and strength, with the support of your loved ones, your faith in our father above, and your inner strength that knows no bounds.

This month make a point to speak to a loved one that has it, give them encouragement, remind them how their struggle has made all the difference in your life.

I guarantee you they will change your life.

School days and other "thangs"

I have really (let me repeat) REALLY enjoyed having a break from school since I graduated with my associates in science in May.  Alas, now my first week at Strayer University to finish my Bachelors Degree (Business Administration with a concentration in project management) starts Monday.  According to plan if all goes well I should have my BS degree in about 2 to 3 years, and my masters between 4 and 5 years.  What a long term goal I have to look forward to?

Let me remind those of you reading this that having a degree is wonderful and it is hard to work for and takes a lot of patience and perseverance.  Keep in mind this though, a degree does not mean you are smarter or oh so wise.  I see many that have degrees and have no common sense or street smarts.  

I still believe the school of hard knocks teaches the life situations best. Just my two cents!

I work hard and that is what has gotten me farther in life.  The degree will only help to take me further :)

Ok so now the other "thangs". This week was an eye opener into the way some people can be. It amazes me how disrespectful those in authority can be or just plain disrespectful anyways.  If you got "thangs" going on in your life, take a breath and think how your actions and negativity affect others around you.  I think at the same time when you have someone acting this way and taking things out on others etc, you have to remember you deserve respect and you don't have to take it!

Word of advice, don't react to it, walk away, distance yourself from the person or persons.  If you are asked for your thoughts, give them. Otherwise be the better person and don't sink to their level.  

I think the world needs a changing because some people out there are just plain crazy!  Abuse comes in many forms, and one of those that many people overlook is emotional or intimidation.  Anytime you feel that then not only are you letting others suffocate you emotionally, but you are allowing that person to control you in a negative way.  DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.  

October is breast cancer awareness and domestic violence awareness month.  Remember those in Pink and remember that violence also comes in many forms and if you don't feel comfortable than its abuse in its own way.

Chow it is time for this gal to go to sleep, I would hate to think you keep seeing me mumble on and on and on.... ;)  

Journey of a thousand miles.....

Today someone brought up a quote I had not heard in a very long time.  "The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao-tzu (604 BC - 531 BC). 

It is hard to believe that a saying that profound was from thousands of years ago!  It amazes me that the simplest sayings, can reach into your very soul.  The Journey of life is something that many take for granted.  Most of us are so busy either looking in the rear view mirror, reflecting on the past, or we are looking so far ahead that we don't see what is right in front of us.  The includes the things in our way if we don't take the time to just look down for a second, be grounded and remember where we came from. 

Think of some of the struggles and successes in your life, past and present.  Every struggle you went through you had to take it one step at a time.  One day at a time..hell even a second at a time.  It is so easy to get stuck in the moment, we forget to breathe.  We wonder how can we do this, how can we do that, how will this work, what if it doesn't?  Endless time is spent on these things.  Every success has also had to take you a step at a time.  There is no such thing as a quick fix.  To make things work in your life, whether it is in your career, your schooling, your family, your kids...relationships.... you had to take it one step at a time.  If we bypassed all of that, if we jump forward too fast, not only do we miss some important things along the way...we miss the beauty of the journey.  You see the key IS the journey.

The key is not to focus on the thousand miles ahead (Life), or even the step, that you miss what is around you...the key is the journey.  We all in this crazy tech age we live in have to take slow steps, sometimes baby ones, to make it, to appreciate it...to reflect on it.  To even move past the wrongs and the hurts that you have went through in life.  I remember as a kid, running on a windy day, looking up at the blue sky and white clouds and I would run in circles until I would fall, and feel dizzy but I trusted the ground was there...it was a small journey (crazy one when you think of it) for a kid just being a kid outside in the fresh air.  When I think of that peaceful moment, that letting go, trusting the ground was there for you to fall on...reminds me of the journey ahead.  Each step you take is a meaningful one.  The speed in which you take it, sets the stage for each succeeding step of life.  Along the path you always have time to take a few steps back, regroup, breathe and move forward again.  There are reasons for everything.  Each step is SUPPOSED to happen, but you have to take the time to learn from it.  Don't be overwhelmed of the thousand miles ahead (life), don't rush to the end forgetting the joys of the moment (steps).  

Remember the journey is what is most important, the steps are the key to it all...the thousand miles are going to happen regardless, its how you walk those miles that count!

- Jean

Older and wiser...and a lil in between...

The last few days have been a time of a lot of reflection for me.  My daughters birthday was on the fifteenth, and the anniversary of her death is on the eighteenth.  She would have been 13 years old.  It is a milestone birthday and one that has struck me a few times what could have been.  Although I know she is in a better place and happier and that in the end things did really work out for the best.  She would have suffered terribly had she lived with the health problems she would have had physically and mentally.

The outpouring of love and friendship from family and friends as always has amazed me.  You really know the friends and family who truly care, when they hug you and say I was thinking of you, praying for you...the text messages I received, phone calls, emails, facebook posts...it was beautiful and all I could think is how it made me proud to be Kayla's mom.  This was for her.  I want her to always be remembered.

What was disappointing was the ones who were silent, whether they chose not to say anything, or just didn't know, it really makes you stop and wonder...are people so involved in their own lives that they don't think a kind word could have made all the difference?  As I get older and start seeing through things clearer than I did before, you start to realize who to give your all too, and who to hold back.  I used to have this tendency in my life to people please, to give my all to everyone to the point of exhaustion.  I was always a giver.  Over time I realized this is not healthy or even cool.  At some point although it is great to be there for others, you can't at the cost of your own soul.  You have to learn to keep those who are there for you closer, and be there for them, and as for the ones who are just what I called acquaintances, well in the end that is what they are.  Just because you see someone daily, or spend a lot of time with them does not necessarily mean they are your friend.  Friend is a word that is tossed around quite abusively.  I believe friend is the person who is there for you through thick and then, who has seen you through your worst and just listens.  someone who will help you through good and bad times.  The person that you know without a doubt when something good or bad happens they are the first person you want to tell.  

I am lucky to say I have quite a few great friends, more than most.  I tend to build more meaningful relationships with those I consider true friends.  There is an old saying if you have one good friend you have more than most.

To my true friends out there (you know who you are), I thank you for always being there for me and also when I least expect it.  I love you for that.  I will always have your back too!

Inspiring moment!

Here it is February, and I realized I had not blogged since before Christmas because I have been so busy!  A dear friend of mine named Amy (who reads this) reminded me about my blog and it just inspired me more to share some of my strange but inspiring thought patterns today.  So where do I begin is the question...I literally could write a book..but alas I would need help on that! Let me add my thought patterns go all over the place trust me, even I have a hard time keeping up!

Well I started early January in my Anatomy and Physiology class which is very interesting but tough.  What inspires me in this class is our remarkable bodies and the physiology of it all.  Our bodies are made to heal themselves, quite literally!  Disease is just toxicity or in deficiency of something occurring in the body.  We actually have cells that their entire job is to just destroy toxins, and eat them and remove them from our bodies.  My first thought is hmmm, could this be the key to research with cancer eradication?   Each week we have a new chapter, the first two weeks was just on organelles and cells and ATP which is energy that our body produces.  Then we went into tissues and no I do not mean the puffs kind!  Tissues at first were BORING, but you have to admit you can't say that once you see the various tissues under a microscope they are like a universe in itself.  We went onto the skin and then onto the skeletal system this week.  Each week I learn new tidbits that just wow me.  One was my lab teacher mentioned that polar bears do not drink water, because they have enough adipose tissue (fat) that basically their body gets what it needs from itself.  Evolution at work!  

I know I probably sound like a nerd by now, but as I get older these things fascinate me and I wonder why when I was younger did I not enjoy the moment and the learning in the same way like I do now. There was a time that I did, but I became a teenager and it went out the window!  The saying if only we knew then what we know now holds so true.  We grow, we evolve physically, spiritually, emotionally and it is amazing what lessons are out there to be learned.  How much free education we have in our own country available at our fingertips!  You only have to go do the local library, pull any book off the shelf and learn new things each day.  I started to think about those less fortunate in other countries who would give anything to have what we have in our own country.  How blessed we truly are!  

As I have stated in earlier blogs I have lost so much in my life, but I also have gained so much.  Life is meant to be precious to gobble it up and just breathe in what is before us. I can remember a time or two when things got so dark for me during divorce, loss of a child..other things.  During those difficult times I forgot the beauty of it all because you focus on your own internal pain.  Healing takes time but when you do get to that place that you see so much around you ready to be plucked!  Then and only then can you truly learn what it is like to be happy.  Its about the moment now for me.  The tidbit I learn in class, the smile on a child's face when they discover something.  The personalities of my three fur kids.  (2 cats and 1 dog people!)  True happiness is inside it cannot be bought, sold or dependant on another.

Piece of advice though, sometimes enjoying the moment can make you become overwhelmed because you want to do it all.  You have to realize after much stress you can't.  Its impossible.  You are not super woman or man but a human being with a lot of faults and a lot to learn.  Baby steps, a day at a time (the name of this blog!) is what it takes.  

So my inspiring moments was realizing once again how lucky we have it, and to realize the potential of not only our physical bodies and the ability to heal, but our emotional selves and how far we can go.

Christmas miracles

3 days until Christmas!  I love this time of year, with all of its beauty of the season and the joy that it brings and just the refresher of knowing another time to renew and start over.  I had a few pleasant surprises from some people offering to do things that I wasn't financially able to do and just took care of it, and for that I am ever grateful. Its a great reminder when you know sometimes a tough time hits or a small nuisance yet somehow a little miracle comes about from either a kindness of a loved one, or friend or stranger.  I went to the eye doctor and have to go back in a few months as they found the beginning stages of diabetic retinopathy in one eye.  They believe it was due to the stress I had going back aways through divorce etc and that since I have come down on my meds and have been losing weight that in three months it may very well be gone, however it still is a wake up call and make you work even harder on something you already are working hard on.  Blessing in disguise if you may.  I started back at the gym, looking forward to water aerobics again and weights, and for the first time today I took a ZUMBA class and WOW.  It was fun, great, had some pains I wasn't used to, had to ice my back, but you really work up  a sweat, and I felt great (other than the back part LOL).  I plan to do that now regularly at least once a week while I cross train the other days.  This time of year I am really appreciating the little things more.  I realize a year ago so much had happened in a short time and through it well what doesn't kill you certainly does make you stronger!  Strength comes in many forms, a lot of people don't realize this...I know I didn't.  It is baby steps, sometimes a few steps forward and back, but one day you wake up and see where you are now, who you have become and where you were and who you were, and you see a difference in yourself.  I see it now more than ever.  The changes that came out of some tough situations have been for the better even though you never see it during the moment it is happening.

This magic moment....

I being a child of the 80s and teen of the early 90s still appreciate some of the old songs from the fifties, sixties and seventies.  The song playing in my head tonight over and over again tonight is the old song...this magic moment so different and so new...by the Drifters.  How ironic that this song plays in my head as I drive home from work this evening to see beautiful Christmas trees lit in the windows (yes even before Thanksgiving), and lights and shows in the yards of those who go all out.  There is one house down the street from where I live that reminds me of the Griswalds Christmas movie with Chevy Chase LOL.  Anyways I digress...  This really is a beautiful time of year to stop and look around and be thankful for what you truly have.  I have lost a lot in life (as so many have), divorce, a daughter who passed away 12 years ago, and more things...but it has only made me appreciate what I DO have all the more.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  I have watched my mom battle breast cancer last year and become a greater survivor than she already is.  I have been a greater survivor from what I have overcome in my own life. I am learning more and more every day who Jean is..and what I will accept and what I will not allow.  It is a good place for me.  One in which I don't fear the unknown anymore..I face it head on, daring it and embracing it.  I watch my three pets tonight, my dog, and my two cats, and boy animals love unconditionally, always wanting to please and demand attention that they crave just to know you love them.  They don't ask much, just to be fed, to snuggle, to be held or petted.  It is a simple peaceful approach that I wish in this busy life more people would embrace.  So many including myself have got caught in the busyness stopping to realize the beauty that surrounds them.  If we would take but a moment to embrace all that is before us, happiness is not only at your feet but within you.  This time of year, during the holidays it is a great time to remember what is important, who is important.  If I don't blog anymore before thanksgiving, I wish each of you a Happy Thanksgiving with your family and friends.

How many days until Turkey Day? and other creative things.

Here are some really neat cards I made today with friends.  Love stamping, its a real good creative outlet that I think we all need in this busy world!  I being the artist I am love to draw, paint, etc, but the one thing I seem to like to do regularly and do not necessarily have to be inspired (like when I draw or paint) is to make cards, as you can see in this blog.

I was busy organizing myself earlier today with some new thirty one products that I got for FREE for having a party and noticed that we are only a little over a week or so before THANKSGIVING!  SO..that being said, I need to start getting on the ball with a lot of things and soon.  CHOW!

Well it is hard to believe we are at the end of the year! I have never really blogged before, but I hear from so many how interesting and therapeutic it can be.  I see I blogged before when I used to sell Avon, and then stopped after one post, and of course I also stopped selling Avon!  I decided I needed to simplify things in my life. I have been through so much in my life, and have learned how simplifying things is so much less stress.  I don't want to say a lot here, I am rather a private person, and maybe in time I will open up a little more, but for now I am just trying out blogging and maybe keep it on discussion topics rather than anything else.  I was thinking the other day how we are so advanced with technology and its such a wonderful thing and I love playing around with computers, smart phones, I love to learn.  One thing I find though that is a downfall is so many people are starting to lose touch with not only themselves but with each other.  It is almost unheard of for some people to talk on the phone, everyone skypes or texts.  I think the skype idea is wonderful, but texting is good, but not at the cost of not being with someone, looking them in the eyes and connecting.  True connection in its finest form is eye contact.  Think about when you are in love with someone what is more beautiful than that lost in your eyes moment eh?  Well same with friendship, you can connect with someone on a much deeper level speaking to them, not at them via texting.  I am not saying I am against it in any way, I text quite often, but I also pick up the phone and call, and I also make time to have family time or friends time spending time with that person or group.  I don't want us to become a world that no one talks anymore, debates, jokes...and I am afraid some days that is where we are headed and its rather scary.  If anyone is reading this, take a few moments this week, call a friend, or a family member that you have not spoke to for awhile. I guarantee you won't be disappointed!