Balance

Balance is the key to any breakthrough, or next step in your journey.  If you are off balance, you will keep hitting the same issue at hand over and over until you resolve it.  So many people, myself included have had moments in their lives that they get "stuck".  I like to call it stuck in a rut.  I also see many people on a daily basis, that stay stuck in their negative patterns.  On the bright side I see many people on a daily basis that consistently grow into the person they are meant to become.  Although they have their bad days, and good days, they seem to have an air of true peace around them, which infiltrates other people around them.

I look back at some pictures of my life just a few years ago, what could go wrong, did, or so I thought at the time.  What I didn't realize then, and what I know now, is every situation that occurred made me stronger, and taught myself to be me again.  The balance followed.  Since that time, I have not looked back.  Every so often I think back to the good and bad times, in my previous marriage, in how I reacted to things in my life, and you can still feel the moment.  It passes and it reminds me of this new era that I am in now, one in which I am happier now in so many ways than I ever was before.

A lot of it was a change in my thinking, in my reacting.  Although I never thought of myself as a victim (although I had much right to think I was!), I realized more than anything I was a survivor.  I have been through loss of a child, emotional abuse, even physical abuse.  I have met with failure, and out of failure persevered to accomplish great things.  My goals now...well let's just say I compete with myself, to become better than I was, and am.  I am still a planner, but I can remember a time when I planned everything down to the minute.  The other day I was driving with my mother in the car, and she reminded me how I was, and how far I have come from the struggles that I have been through.  I don't plan like I did, oh yes I am still responsible, I still plan things, don't get me wrong.  I learned to relax and realize that in this life, I do not have any control.  You can control your thoughts, your actions, but what the universe gives you, what God has planned for you...you can't control that.  I learned to take things a day at a time. (Name of my blog if you notice!) and I take each challenge as it comes to me.  I face it head on.  I think if I was still in the life I lived before, the marriage I was in before, I would be like this bird in a cage that couldn't fly.  What I mean by that is sometimes people can hold you back, you love them so much that you don't realize that they are suffocating you...from you.  In a way it is a type of control.  I see it in work situations, in life situations, in relationship situations.  At some point a true meaningful relationship is two people coming together as two individuals that honor and respect and love one another, and agree to disagree at times.  You are equals to one another and you know that you have each other's back.  You will be there through the good and bad times.  I think a true loving relationship with a significant other should be this way, as should a true friendship.

I can count on one hand the true friends I really have.  I have lots of friends, and acquaintances but a true friend, hell they are hard to come by.  I also hope that the next love relationship I am in, will be one that is meaningful and will take things a day a time.

Well I hadn't planned on writing tonight but the thoughts just rolled in, and here we are.  Until next time....