Balance

Balance is the key to any breakthrough, or next step in your journey.  If you are off balance, you will keep hitting the same issue at hand over and over until you resolve it.  So many people, myself included have had moments in their lives that they get "stuck".  I like to call it stuck in a rut.  I also see many people on a daily basis, that stay stuck in their negative patterns.  On the bright side I see many people on a daily basis that consistently grow into the person they are meant to become.  Although they have their bad days, and good days, they seem to have an air of true peace around them, which infiltrates other people around them.

I look back at some pictures of my life just a few years ago, what could go wrong, did, or so I thought at the time.  What I didn't realize then, and what I know now, is every situation that occurred made me stronger, and taught myself to be me again.  The balance followed.  Since that time, I have not looked back.  Every so often I think back to the good and bad times, in my previous marriage, in how I reacted to things in my life, and you can still feel the moment.  It passes and it reminds me of this new era that I am in now, one in which I am happier now in so many ways than I ever was before.

A lot of it was a change in my thinking, in my reacting.  Although I never thought of myself as a victim (although I had much right to think I was!), I realized more than anything I was a survivor.  I have been through loss of a child, emotional abuse, even physical abuse.  I have met with failure, and out of failure persevered to accomplish great things.  My goals now...well let's just say I compete with myself, to become better than I was, and am.  I am still a planner, but I can remember a time when I planned everything down to the minute.  The other day I was driving with my mother in the car, and she reminded me how I was, and how far I have come from the struggles that I have been through.  I don't plan like I did, oh yes I am still responsible, I still plan things, don't get me wrong.  I learned to relax and realize that in this life, I do not have any control.  You can control your thoughts, your actions, but what the universe gives you, what God has planned for you...you can't control that.  I learned to take things a day at a time. (Name of my blog if you notice!) and I take each challenge as it comes to me.  I face it head on.  I think if I was still in the life I lived before, the marriage I was in before, I would be like this bird in a cage that couldn't fly.  What I mean by that is sometimes people can hold you back, you love them so much that you don't realize that they are suffocating you...from you.  In a way it is a type of control.  I see it in work situations, in life situations, in relationship situations.  At some point a true meaningful relationship is two people coming together as two individuals that honor and respect and love one another, and agree to disagree at times.  You are equals to one another and you know that you have each other's back.  You will be there through the good and bad times.  I think a true loving relationship with a significant other should be this way, as should a true friendship.

I can count on one hand the true friends I really have.  I have lots of friends, and acquaintances but a true friend, hell they are hard to come by.  I also hope that the next love relationship I am in, will be one that is meaningful and will take things a day a time.

Well I hadn't planned on writing tonight but the thoughts just rolled in, and here we are.  Until next time....

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Breast Cancer has touched my life so many times.  I have had so many friends that have had this terrible disease.  2 years ago, my mother had breast cancer, she is now a little over 2 years of being a survivor.  Please make sure to get your yearly mammograms, it does not have to be hereditary or run in your family for you to get it.  There has been an increase in the disease due to our environment, the way we eat, so many factors.

I met someone one time at a function who had breast cancer, not once, not twice but three times.  She is a survivor, heck that word doesn't even describe her.  She has faced it head on three times and survived.  Now for a living she works helping others who have or had breast cancer with programs that are available out there for you.  One thing she said that really stuck with me was that she said she would not let cancer beat her.  She my friends, beat cancer.  There are no guarantees that you won't get cancer, there are no gurantees you won't get a form of cancer again.  There is a guarantee that you can fight with all your hope, faith and strength, with the support of your loved ones, your faith in our father above, and your inner strength that knows no bounds.

This month make a point to speak to a loved one that has it, give them encouragement, remind them how their struggle has made all the difference in your life.

I guarantee you they will change your life.

School days and other "thangs"

I have really (let me repeat) REALLY enjoyed having a break from school since I graduated with my associates in science in May.  Alas, now my first week at Strayer University to finish my Bachelors Degree (Business Administration with a concentration in project management) starts Monday.  According to plan if all goes well I should have my BS degree in about 2 to 3 years, and my masters between 4 and 5 years.  What a long term goal I have to look forward to?

Let me remind those of you reading this that having a degree is wonderful and it is hard to work for and takes a lot of patience and perseverance.  Keep in mind this though, a degree does not mean you are smarter or oh so wise.  I see many that have degrees and have no common sense or street smarts.  

I still believe the school of hard knocks teaches the life situations best. Just my two cents!

I work hard and that is what has gotten me farther in life.  The degree will only help to take me further :)

Ok so now the other "thangs". This week was an eye opener into the way some people can be. It amazes me how disrespectful those in authority can be or just plain disrespectful anyways.  If you got "thangs" going on in your life, take a breath and think how your actions and negativity affect others around you.  I think at the same time when you have someone acting this way and taking things out on others etc, you have to remember you deserve respect and you don't have to take it!

Word of advice, don't react to it, walk away, distance yourself from the person or persons.  If you are asked for your thoughts, give them. Otherwise be the better person and don't sink to their level.  

I think the world needs a changing because some people out there are just plain crazy!  Abuse comes in many forms, and one of those that many people overlook is emotional or intimidation.  Anytime you feel that then not only are you letting others suffocate you emotionally, but you are allowing that person to control you in a negative way.  DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN.  

October is breast cancer awareness and domestic violence awareness month.  Remember those in Pink and remember that violence also comes in many forms and if you don't feel comfortable than its abuse in its own way.

Chow it is time for this gal to go to sleep, I would hate to think you keep seeing me mumble on and on and on.... ;)  

Journey of a thousand miles.....

Today someone brought up a quote I had not heard in a very long time.  "The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" - Lao-tzu (604 BC - 531 BC). 

It is hard to believe that a saying that profound was from thousands of years ago!  It amazes me that the simplest sayings, can reach into your very soul.  The Journey of life is something that many take for granted.  Most of us are so busy either looking in the rear view mirror, reflecting on the past, or we are looking so far ahead that we don't see what is right in front of us.  The includes the things in our way if we don't take the time to just look down for a second, be grounded and remember where we came from. 

Think of some of the struggles and successes in your life, past and present.  Every struggle you went through you had to take it one step at a time.  One day at a time..hell even a second at a time.  It is so easy to get stuck in the moment, we forget to breathe.  We wonder how can we do this, how can we do that, how will this work, what if it doesn't?  Endless time is spent on these things.  Every success has also had to take you a step at a time.  There is no such thing as a quick fix.  To make things work in your life, whether it is in your career, your schooling, your family, your kids...relationships.... you had to take it one step at a time.  If we bypassed all of that, if we jump forward too fast, not only do we miss some important things along the way...we miss the beauty of the journey.  You see the key IS the journey.

The key is not to focus on the thousand miles ahead (Life), or even the step, that you miss what is around you...the key is the journey.  We all in this crazy tech age we live in have to take slow steps, sometimes baby ones, to make it, to appreciate it...to reflect on it.  To even move past the wrongs and the hurts that you have went through in life.  I remember as a kid, running on a windy day, looking up at the blue sky and white clouds and I would run in circles until I would fall, and feel dizzy but I trusted the ground was there...it was a small journey (crazy one when you think of it) for a kid just being a kid outside in the fresh air.  When I think of that peaceful moment, that letting go, trusting the ground was there for you to fall on...reminds me of the journey ahead.  Each step you take is a meaningful one.  The speed in which you take it, sets the stage for each succeeding step of life.  Along the path you always have time to take a few steps back, regroup, breathe and move forward again.  There are reasons for everything.  Each step is SUPPOSED to happen, but you have to take the time to learn from it.  Don't be overwhelmed of the thousand miles ahead (life), don't rush to the end forgetting the joys of the moment (steps).  

Remember the journey is what is most important, the steps are the key to it all...the thousand miles are going to happen regardless, its how you walk those miles that count!

- Jean

Older and wiser...and a lil in between...

The last few days have been a time of a lot of reflection for me.  My daughters birthday was on the fifteenth, and the anniversary of her death is on the eighteenth.  She would have been 13 years old.  It is a milestone birthday and one that has struck me a few times what could have been.  Although I know she is in a better place and happier and that in the end things did really work out for the best.  She would have suffered terribly had she lived with the health problems she would have had physically and mentally.

The outpouring of love and friendship from family and friends as always has amazed me.  You really know the friends and family who truly care, when they hug you and say I was thinking of you, praying for you...the text messages I received, phone calls, emails, facebook posts...it was beautiful and all I could think is how it made me proud to be Kayla's mom.  This was for her.  I want her to always be remembered.

What was disappointing was the ones who were silent, whether they chose not to say anything, or just didn't know, it really makes you stop and wonder...are people so involved in their own lives that they don't think a kind word could have made all the difference?  As I get older and start seeing through things clearer than I did before, you start to realize who to give your all too, and who to hold back.  I used to have this tendency in my life to people please, to give my all to everyone to the point of exhaustion.  I was always a giver.  Over time I realized this is not healthy or even cool.  At some point although it is great to be there for others, you can't at the cost of your own soul.  You have to learn to keep those who are there for you closer, and be there for them, and as for the ones who are just what I called acquaintances, well in the end that is what they are.  Just because you see someone daily, or spend a lot of time with them does not necessarily mean they are your friend.  Friend is a word that is tossed around quite abusively.  I believe friend is the person who is there for you through thick and then, who has seen you through your worst and just listens.  someone who will help you through good and bad times.  The person that you know without a doubt when something good or bad happens they are the first person you want to tell.  

I am lucky to say I have quite a few great friends, more than most.  I tend to build more meaningful relationships with those I consider true friends.  There is an old saying if you have one good friend you have more than most.

To my true friends out there (you know who you are), I thank you for always being there for me and also when I least expect it.  I love you for that.  I will always have your back too!

Inspiring moment!

Here it is February, and I realized I had not blogged since before Christmas because I have been so busy!  A dear friend of mine named Amy (who reads this) reminded me about my blog and it just inspired me more to share some of my strange but inspiring thought patterns today.  So where do I begin is the question...I literally could write a book..but alas I would need help on that! Let me add my thought patterns go all over the place trust me, even I have a hard time keeping up!

Well I started early January in my Anatomy and Physiology class which is very interesting but tough.  What inspires me in this class is our remarkable bodies and the physiology of it all.  Our bodies are made to heal themselves, quite literally!  Disease is just toxicity or in deficiency of something occurring in the body.  We actually have cells that their entire job is to just destroy toxins, and eat them and remove them from our bodies.  My first thought is hmmm, could this be the key to research with cancer eradication?   Each week we have a new chapter, the first two weeks was just on organelles and cells and ATP which is energy that our body produces.  Then we went into tissues and no I do not mean the puffs kind!  Tissues at first were BORING, but you have to admit you can't say that once you see the various tissues under a microscope they are like a universe in itself.  We went onto the skin and then onto the skeletal system this week.  Each week I learn new tidbits that just wow me.  One was my lab teacher mentioned that polar bears do not drink water, because they have enough adipose tissue (fat) that basically their body gets what it needs from itself.  Evolution at work!  

I know I probably sound like a nerd by now, but as I get older these things fascinate me and I wonder why when I was younger did I not enjoy the moment and the learning in the same way like I do now. There was a time that I did, but I became a teenager and it went out the window!  The saying if only we knew then what we know now holds so true.  We grow, we evolve physically, spiritually, emotionally and it is amazing what lessons are out there to be learned.  How much free education we have in our own country available at our fingertips!  You only have to go do the local library, pull any book off the shelf and learn new things each day.  I started to think about those less fortunate in other countries who would give anything to have what we have in our own country.  How blessed we truly are!  

As I have stated in earlier blogs I have lost so much in my life, but I also have gained so much.  Life is meant to be precious to gobble it up and just breathe in what is before us. I can remember a time or two when things got so dark for me during divorce, loss of a child..other things.  During those difficult times I forgot the beauty of it all because you focus on your own internal pain.  Healing takes time but when you do get to that place that you see so much around you ready to be plucked!  Then and only then can you truly learn what it is like to be happy.  Its about the moment now for me.  The tidbit I learn in class, the smile on a child's face when they discover something.  The personalities of my three fur kids.  (2 cats and 1 dog people!)  True happiness is inside it cannot be bought, sold or dependant on another.

Piece of advice though, sometimes enjoying the moment can make you become overwhelmed because you want to do it all.  You have to realize after much stress you can't.  Its impossible.  You are not super woman or man but a human being with a lot of faults and a lot to learn.  Baby steps, a day at a time (the name of this blog!) is what it takes.  

So my inspiring moments was realizing once again how lucky we have it, and to realize the potential of not only our physical bodies and the ability to heal, but our emotional selves and how far we can go.